TO ALL THOSE WHO LEAD MONOTONOUS LIVES IN THE HOPE THAT THEY MAY EXPERIENCE AT SECOND HAND THE DELIGHTS AND DANGERS OF ADVENTURE
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Final 40
In two months I'm done working - June 22. Forty more days of teaching. It seems to go slower and slower, and even this late in the game I think about leaving. I won't, but I still want to escape the schedule, the office, the noise of kids. When I get back to USA I want to do increasing periods of time without eating animal products and using computers.
June 22. 22. 2222222222222222
I swear I've been hovering in space at this moment in time forever like Groundhog Day.
With 15 weeks left at my job, it's kind of an ambiguous place to be. It's very close, but it still seems very far. I have 72 days of actual work left, and each day passes slower than the one before. "I'm not a number! I'm a free man!"
This is the third time I've been in a contract job where there's a reward at the end to keep me going like a carrot on a stick. Never again! When will I learn? Never, never again. Avoid contracts, Adam! Even with the contract and money/plane ticket home at the end, I considered leaving. I'm done teaching ESL. I'm done teaching classrooms. I'm done working jobs!!!!!!!!!
But the sheer disgrace and stain I'd leave, the disappointment in the kids' faces when they learned I had bailed, has kept me going. But god, sometimes I feel there's nowhere to go to escape now that the school is so crowded with new teachers and students. And I used to go for walks but it's still cold outside sometimes. Will Spring never arrive?!
I made a list of things I NEVER intend to do again. Some of them I'm already enforcing, but some will have to wait till I finish with Korea in June:
Have roommates (bleh, been there done that - I'm almost 30 [I'm already 31 in the Korean age system!] and refuse to go backwards on this - I choose to only live with people I want to from now on).
Get in a job contract (yuck, see above).
Own a car (hassle, stress).
Wear uncomfortable clothes (especially shoes).
Work/live under fluorescent lighting (depressing).
Work on somebody else's time schedule (9-5, M-F, etc - I want to go freelance all the way).
Clean house (I want a cleaning service).
I encourage you all to make a NEVER AGAIN list.
I finished reading David Copperfield today. It was hella long and filled with characters and rambling prose. I'd probably give it a B or 7/10.
A sickness slowly climbed upon me as I returned to work. I think I'm off work again from this Tuesday till March 2 so maybe I can recover. But it's hard to sleep when you're nose is plugged up. I think I'm kind of sick of this country too. I have about four months left and I probably would abandon ship if I didn't get bonus pay, a pension refund, my apartment deposit, and a plane ticket home at the end of the contract. So I'll stick it out.
You all saw Joaquin Phoenix on Letterman, right?
I've heard some people say it was all a hoax for the documentary Casey Affleck is making about Phoenix's transition to rap, and other people say he's drugged out and needs help. My theory is that the whole hip-hop transition thing is semi-orchestrated a la Borat for the documentary, but that to really immerse himself in the role he actually believes it himself and may be on some kind of drugs to flesh out the role, and that he won't even realize he's acting till he comes out of it at the screening of the documentary and he'll snap back to something like his former self like someone coming out of hypnosis.
I don't think Letterman was "in on it" and believe he was genuinely annoyed by Phoenix. But who knows, eh.
I watched Kenneth Branagh's As You Like It. Starts out kind of weak by about halfway through I began to like the actors and thought it finished nice. Good music and atmosphere. I like the version with Laurence Olivier better though, even though Olivier didn't direct it.
I tried to find a torrent of the soundtrack but could only find another Patrick Doyle OST: 1998's Great Expectations. It's a good soundtrack too.
I've barely taught this week and won't have any classes again till next Thursday thanks to finals. So it's good because I can relax a little, but it's also a bit slow when I don't interact with the kids. Yesterday I went walking and found a hiking trail in the hills behind my school and took it quite a ways back. The weather's nice right now. I got off at noon today and when I got home my apartment was so bright. I usually leave by 8 AM and return at 5 PM or later so my apartment isn't usually so lit up when I'm here:
(I also decided not to pick up the clothes scattered around the living room to show you how disorganized I am)
It reminded me to charge my camera batteries and how I hardly ever post photos. I should show you how crazy Korean neighborhoods look.
Christmas is my next vacation day, but then I have to work the day after Christmas. Can you believe it? I don't think I'll have classes, I just go in to the school for closing ceremonies (this is the end of the school year in Korea).
But then it gets good and I will remember why I picked a public school over a hagwon... PAID VACATION TIME!!!! (Keep in mind, I already had over 3 weeks paid vacation in the summer)
December 27 - January 11 = NO WORK!!! January 12-16 & January 19-23 = Work a two-hour winter class each day. January 24 - February 8 = NO WORK! February 9 - 17 = Be at school for meetings but no real classes. February 18 - March 1 = I may have to go in a day or two for meetings, but essentially no work.
And then regular classes start again in March. The current 7th graders (300 of them because the school just opened this year) become 8th graders and we get 300 more 7th graders, doubling the number of students. And then I'll teach them for a little over 3 months and then my contract's up, and then...
Well, we'll see. I'm approaching the halfway point in my 12-month contract.
I haven't blogged much lately because in addition to teaching I'm spending time doing freelance work via America (via the internet), graphic design related, that pays real cash money (American dollar$), and I will say no more other than I would love to be self-employed. I like teaching and I like doing "alone-work" too and think I would go crazy if I just did one or the other, but if I'm gonna do them I want to set my own hours and not have to be somewhere because a clock says so. Maybe this will help me get there.
It's the Korean "SAT" today and tomorrow so my junior high kids get out early and most of the teachers go to high schools to proctor (what a limited verb).
Me? What do I do since I don't have afternoon classes?
Thank you for asking.
I'm preparing to use board games for English practice in the class. The games available to me are limited. My co-teacher acquired Scrabble, Monopoly Jr., and The Game of Life. I played them with two other teachers this afternoon. Here are my impressions that I urge you to memorize:
Scrabble - The edition we got is the British one or something. Only a little different from American. Mainly the board is a different color and the tiles are plastic, not wood. It also has instructions in English, Korean, Chinese and Thai. It's been at least a year since I played Scrabble and I think it's a bit overrated.
Monopoly Jr. - Monopoly Jr. is shorter and simpler than Monopoly and almost 100% luck. It goes by too fast to realize you don't care what happens.
The Game of Life - These are the lessons my students will get from "Life": life is about making and spending money and filling a car with a generic family. Life is complicated and unfriendly to non-English speakers. It also has the players ending "Life" by retiring. That's not how real life ends.
Oops, I messed up my layout. I'll fix it when I have time.
I'm still under the time-compression influence of being in a new place - amazed that it's only been two days since I arrived because so much has already been crammed in.
I live in Bucheon, which wikipedia says is sandwiched between Seoul and Incheon. My apartment is on the 11th floor and I like it. It feels so, so good to have my own place. My neighborhood is awesome! Within a thousand feet of the entrance of my building there are like 100 restaurants (really), a clothing mall, grocery store, a Seoul subway station, and lots of small parks.
Yesterday Daniel helped me find the school I'll be working at (starting next week). It's a very small public school, only about 300 students, junior high level. I showed up right before classes got out and was waiting in the teacher's lounge for the school principal to arrive. When classes got out I heard a ton of noise from the kids in the hall behind me and thought, "Damn, they're noisy kids!" But then I turned around and tons of them were pressed against the window looking in at me! I guess the school has been expecting me and these kids don't see a lot of foreigners. In fact, I don't think I've seen any non-Koreans since I left the Incheon airport.
As I was shown around the school the kids said hello, bowed to me, asked to shake my hand etc. I felt like something between a rockstar and an alien.
The school is very nice and Daniel says I made a very good choice.
Afterwards we went to E-mart (kind of like the Korean Wal-mart, but the store is even bigger) and bought a few things. Then we went to Incheon and had dinner with Daniel's parents and then I came home and passed out from jet lag.
I'll put up some pictures where I live and stuff when I fix my layout.
It seems the closer I get to moving out, the more annoying and slobbish my roommates become. I cannot fucking wait to live alone. My goal is to never have roommates again.
I also have two more days of work (Friday and Tuesday [to make sure I get paid for Memorial Day]). Time just seems to move slower there.
My friend George came up with a list of factors that determine your happiness with a job:
1. People- Do you like the people you work closest with? Do they inspire, support, and challenge you? Do you consider them intelligent? Do they share key values with you? Do you connect emotionally?
2. Company/Organization Mission - If you work for a company or organization, is its mission in line with your values? Is its mission identical or close to your personal mission in life? 3. Job Malleability - Can you alter your job? How much control over it do you have? Can you tweak it as you change and the world changes? 4. Physical Convenience - How convenient are the logistics of the job? Do you have a long or short commute? Is it comfortable to get to work? Does it pay well? Does it have the benefits you want? Is the environment you work in comfortable (e.g. city vs. country, office vs. outdoors vs. work from home, etc)? 5. Pace of the Work Environment- Are the energy level, deadlines, urgency, and general pace of your environment (company, organization) right for you? Is it too fast? Too slow? Does your job challenge you?
At my current job I only feel good about #2 and #5. I like working with students and especially teaching life skills. The pace seems to adapt to the moment and usually feels about right.
As for the #1: This is probably the weakest and the clincher. One of the teachers I work with (Gary Coleman) is hopelessly incompetent. I feel a little stupider at the end of the day just being around him, and I can't wait until I never have to see him again. Today he got into one of his regular cussing matches with a few of the boys, and at one point he said, "No wonder people call you guys retarded!"
At that point the boys didn't hold back and one of the boys yelled at Gary Coleman over and over: "You're ugly and your breath stinks!"
It's hard for me to keep a straight face as all this goes on . . . but really, I could do without it.
* * *
This morning I downloaded The Doors' first album. I heard it from my dad a million times as a kid and it was one of the first CDs I owned in the 90s, but I hadn't heard it in a while and wanted to hear "The End". So I played it through. Imagine my surprise when I noticed some of the lyrics had changed! Morrison now said, "She gets high" and "fuck fuck fuck fuck"! What the - !
Like the good wikipedophile that I am I hunted down the answer:
The songs "Break on Through (To the Other Side)" and "The End" were both released censored with the album. During "Break on Through" the part where Jim Morrison sings "She gets, she gets" was originally recorded as "She get high." The interlude singing part near the end of "The End" was censored and taken out. It included Jim using the word fuck over and over. Subsequent releases of the album have both of the original parts intact, although 1980s compact disc reissues appear to keep the verses censored.
So I guess I had the crappy 1980s reissues.
The real version for 1967 is pretty bold.
I've had a censored version in my head all this time!
I was gonna try to move by May 1 or 15. That seems a little impossible though and too much stress so I think May 30 is more reasonable. I really don't foresee staying on longer than that. To do so would be beating a dead horse and my job ends mid-June anyway so it'd be financially unwise.
I miss having a teaching job where I'm always on. This job is too empty. I spend half my day reading and watching the teachers I work with struggle with the students. I want my own control of the classroom, and I want students that actually want to learn.
There's a lot of funny stuff at my work because I work with a teacher who is the worst instructor I have ever known in my life. I refer to him as "Gary Coleman" because he's similar in so many ways. He's 38 and the kids think he's in his fifties. The kids are always ripping on his bad breath, and it's true, he has some of the worst breath that seems to waft around him like his own climate system. One of the kids once told him that his breath smells like a shit sandwich. He's always getting into arguments with the kids, calling them stupid and lazy, and one day this boy who's like 6' 10" almost beat the crap out of Gary Coleman. I think he would have if I hadn't intervened. Crazy stuff like that happens every day. Because it's moderate-needs special ed (as opposed to the kids who need diapers) the classes are small and the rules are flexible. The kids use ipods and cell phones in class, bring food in, and don't go 30 seconds without using the word nigga, bitch, shit, or fuck (interestingly, I've never heard them use the word "cunt"). A bunch of the kids live down in Hunter's Point or projects throughout the city and Gary Coleman thinks he can relate to them because he's black.
The students complained to other teachers about Gary Coleman and he almost got fired at one point. He'll be there the rest of the year though, then he's gone. As for me, I'm ready to move on anytime. I get along well with almost all the kids, largely because I'm not the main disciplinarian. I refuse to give myself stress when I'm only the teacher's aide.
This morning Gary Coleman said that he needs an external hard drive.
"I'll sell you my 300 gig for $60," I said.
Gary Coleman (without even pausing to consider): "I'll buy it!"
I instantly regretted setting the price so low (he's totally incompetent with computers, as with all things), and told him it might be a little while before I could sell it because I had to clear it off first (true) and make sure it would work with a Mac (false). If I sell it to him I bet I can jack it up to $90 or so. I'll probably try even higher than that on craigslist. Then sell it to a stranger and tell Gary Coleman it wouldn't work on a Mac.
Anyway, I don't have much to write. I just don't want another blogless day.
Started listening to Garry Kasparov's How Life Imitates Chess on my way to work. How long has it been since I played chess? Last time was with students or co-workers in Seattle.
Last week I played tennis three times.
I like one-on-one games, and tennis is the first time I've done a real sport in like foreverz.
