Last Post

CLICK HERE FOR MY NEW (OLD) HOME ON LIVEJOURNAL WHERE I'LL DO MY BLOGGING FROM NOW ON.

And so this is my last post. (ominous)

The last few days have been some of my best here, saying goodbye and seeing people I've accumulated over the year. Korea's okay. I wouldn't want to live here long term. It's a good place to visit, just not work.

Now I've got to finish packing.

I'll pick up the blogging thing again real soon.

Think of me and wish me safe passage in crossing the vast ocean.

I Can Almost See America From Here

Went up to the roof of my building for a final view of drab-colored apartment blocks and the New York Wedding Hall. It's my last full day in Korea!

The Awakening

4-day weekend spent on bullet trains, buses, and ships traveling all the way to a small island off the south coast of Korea with a co-worker and her family. Also went to two temples and a green tea farm. Off the clock, it reminds me of how life once was, how it will be again, but upleveled a thousandfold once I'm done here. I'm gonna move back to Livejournal when I finish in Korea to hermetically seal it. It's good to travel and get out of routine.

Final 40

In two months I'm done working - June 22. Forty more days of teaching. It seems to go slower and slower, and even this late in the game I think about leaving. I won't, but I still want to escape the schedule, the office, the noise of kids. When I get back to USA I want to do increasing periods of time without eating animal products and using computers.

June 22. 22. 2222222222222222

I swear I've been hovering in space at this moment in time forever like Groundhog Day.

June 22. C'mon, c'mon.

15 Weeks

With 15 weeks left at my job, it's kind of an ambiguous place to be. It's very close, but it still seems very far. I have 72 days of actual work left, and each day passes slower than the one before. "I'm not a number! I'm a free man!"

This is the third time I've been in a contract job where there's a reward at the end to keep me going like a carrot on a stick. Never again! When will I learn? Never, never again. Avoid contracts, Adam! Even with the contract and money/plane ticket home at the end, I considered leaving. I'm done teaching ESL. I'm done teaching classrooms. I'm done working jobs!!!!!!!!!

But the sheer disgrace and stain I'd leave, the disappointment in the kids' faces when they learned I had bailed, has kept me going. But god, sometimes I feel there's nowhere to go to escape now that the school is so crowded with new teachers and students. And I used to go for walks but it's still cold outside sometimes. Will Spring never arrive?!

I made a list of things I NEVER intend to do again. Some of them I'm already enforcing, but some will have to wait till I finish with Korea in June:

1. Have roommates (bleh, been there done that - I'm almost 30 [I'm already 31 in the Korean age system!] and refuse to go backwards on this - I choose to only live with people I want to from now on).
   
2. Get in a job contract (yuck, see above).
   
3. Own a car (hassle, stress).
   
4. Wear uncomfortable clothes (especially shoes).
5. Work/live under fluorescent lighting (depressing).
6. Work on somebody else's time schedule (9-5, M-F, etc - I want to go freelance all the way).
7. Clean house (I want a cleaning service).

I encourage you all to make a NEVER AGAIN list.

I finished reading David Copperfield today. It was hella long and filled with characters and rambling prose. I'd probably give it a B or 7/10.

Doctor Octopus

In Korea they eat raw octopus that is killed and chopped up just before you eat it. Yesterday in a restaurant with my co-workers I tried some. The piece of octopus was still moving when I put it in my mouth. I chewed it well.

My final chunk of vacation: 11 days between now and March 2.

I think I'm just gonna play these mp3's of Obama cussing over and over (from his audiobook).

INSOMNIA!!!

A sickness slowly climbed upon me as I returned to work. I think I'm off work again from this Tuesday till March 2 so maybe I can recover. But it's hard to sleep when you're nose is plugged up. I think I'm kind of sick of this country too. I have about four months left and I probably would abandon ship if I didn't get bonus pay, a pension refund, my apartment deposit, and a plane ticket home at the end of the contract. So I'll stick it out.

You all saw Joaquin Phoenix on Letterman, right?


I've heard some people say it was all a hoax for the documentary Casey Affleck is making about Phoenix's transition to rap, and other people say he's drugged out and needs help. My theory is that the whole hip-hop transition thing is semi-orchestrated a la Borat for the documentary, but that to really immerse himself in the role he actually believes it himself and may be on some kind of drugs to flesh out the role, and that he won't even realize he's acting till he comes out of it at the screening of the documentary and he'll snap back to something like his former self like someone coming out of hypnosis.

I don't think Letterman was "in on it" and believe he was genuinely annoyed by Phoenix. But who knows, eh.

I watched Kenneth Branagh's As You Like It. Starts out kind of weak by about halfway through I began to like the actors and thought it finished nice. Good music and atmosphere. I like the version with Laurence Olivier better though, even though Olivier didn't direct it.

I tried to find a torrent of the soundtrack but could only find another Patrick Doyle OST: 1998's Great Expectations. It's a good soundtrack too.

I think I will try sleep again now.

BTW

Fuck! Back to work!

It's been six weeks since I've been on the 8:30 to 4:30 grind. Six weeks since I had to see all my co-workers and all the students at once.

I think I liked vacation more.

Copperfieldian

Man, there are some crazy plane ticket prices right now. I was thinking about visiting the US at the end of the month (I'm not) and just looked and could get a round trip for $700. I also found a ticket from San Francisco to Ireland round trip this month for $380! I think people are cutting back on travel. I hope these prices hold out through the rest of the year when I'm actually traveling.

I feel my vacation taking its last gasp. I was in Seoul the other day and got a copy of David Copperfield to immerse myself in a 900-page Dickensian reality. Maybe it's my favorite Dickens book I've read. Tomorrow I'm bowling. I don't know what to make of Korea anymore. I think I've forgotten whatever I knew about teaching, it's been so long since I've had regular classes (mid December?). And I think my teaching quality has gotten progressively worse through the year. C'est la vie. After this I'm done working with kids. After this I won't ever do contract work, and even try to avoid housing leases for longer than six months. I just like to move on.

Did anyone see the 40-minute The Office the other day? I thought it was pretty good after some weak episodes, and found the pirated Jack Black movie especially creepy/awesome. Also found it funny they would watch a pirated movie in a major national sitcom.

Wind Beneath My Wings

Growing up in Southern California, I took certain things for granted. Beaches, warm weather, hot girls. Only when I saw other parts of the country and world did I realize how depraved some places are. There are some places where they don't have beaches. There are some places where the woman are like Jabberwockies. And there are many, many places that get cold in the winter. These places are what I like to call "stupid."

My first mistake was Seattle. I lived there a year and it was like the coldest winter in 80,000 years with snow and other nonsense.

And now I'm in Korea and it's been cold since November and the heat is only now beginning to vaguely trickle in and hint at a spring in a month or two. But there's still snow on the sidewalks.

I've been thinking about the next place I'll "live", and for a while I was considering Portland. But it gets pretty cold in the winter there, too.

So now I'm giving serious thought to San Luis Obispo. High of 74 degrees tomorrow. That's what I'm talking 'bout. (read the last sentence with an Ebonic accent)

In other news, today was lunar/Chinese/Korean new year, which seems to close more businesses than the Jesus new year you celebrate in the West. I'm on vacation and letting my face hair grow so I look more Jesus-esque. I would wear a white robe and get a tan like Ted Neeley but it's too effin cold.

P.S. > I was trying to find an image of the Jabberwocky from the awesome 1985 version of Alice in Wonderland (the one with Scott Baio and Ringo Starr - seriously) to supplement this blog entry ... but the internet failed me. Trust me, it was scary in a low-budget 1980s sort of way.

OMG Tom Cruise is in South Korea!!

2009

This year on New Year's eve I became my dad and went to bed before midnight, sleeping through the festivities with earplugs and a headache. And I felt at peace and warm and glad that I didn't go into Seoul or any crowd anywhere. The last week has been rather insane anyways in so many ways, and sometimes I wish I used this blog to record my personal life (I typed 4 pages in my journal yesterday) - basically I'm living at least four lives that I don't allow to intersect.

Before going to sleep I watched Tropic Thunder, which has some really great nuanced humor and Vietnam war cliches to the max... but has kind of a predictable structure that lumbers a bit at times. Still, I like it. And I didn't even recognize Robert Downey Jr. and Tom Cruise at first! That's kind of impressive.

Think I have to go to the English bookstore in Itaewon in a day or two to get supplies for my English program. I haven't done any planning. The truth is out... I'm a horrible teacher. Well, I am when I don't have a plan. When I do, I'm OK.

I once heard someone compare Itaewon (the foreigner neighborhood in Seoul) to Mos Eisley in the first Star Wars, and that's kind of accurate. Everything feels stupider, gaudier, grosser, louder, drunker. Too many cultures in too small a space - too much American military - too many prostitute bars - too much English and too many people speaking broken English.

But there's an English bookstore there so I go from time to time.

You know, as much as there are times when I truly enjoy Korea, I was probably ready to leave after two or three months. It's been great for me financially, and my living situation is pretty sweet, but unless I'm fluent in the language (which ain't gonna happen) I'll always be this waygook (foreigner) here. Even if I spoke perfect Korean I would be that outsider, because Korea is all about homogeneity. I watched Korean TV (a rare occasion for me) tonight and I saw more clearly than ever how much Korean fashion is all about uniforms. You have your work clothes, your casual clothes, your formal casual clothes, your sports clothes, your hiking clothes, your very formal clothes etc, and you know within one second of looking at someone what they are doing based on their clothes. All art and dance has a factory quality to it. It's all about togetherness, group spirit, no boundary between corporation and government.

Seriously, the US has some huge corporations, but it has a lot of huge corporations and a lot of medium-sized corporations and a lot of small corporations. In Korea you have a few big corporations. Period. And they own the baseball teams, the department stores, the manufacturing, everything! And nobody has any problem with that. In fact, they like it. Because it's not just SK Telecom, the evil corporation that has mutant sex with the government... it's SK Telecom, the company five of your friends and family work for.

A Korean friend of mine was looking for a job. I told him if I was a Korean citizen I'd start my own business because there are so many opportunities for goods and services not available in Korea, so many needs of foreigners that aren't being meet, so much room for innovation. I told him a few of my ideas just about getting better English teachers, for instance, and he agreed that they made sense. I asked him if he would like to start his own business - wouldn't that be great, I asked? "No!" he shook his head.

To strike out alone? To leave the security of the vast corporate group? Koreans have such independent tendencies beaten out of them at an early age. I was on the subway once talking with a Korean-American teacher from California. An old man said something to my friend in Korean. "What did he say?" I asked.

"He said to shut up," he said.

Yes, a stranger told us not to talk on the subway! We ignored him, of course, but that's very typically Korean.

Okay, I don't mean to sound cranky. This is the type of entry I usually write and don't post. But I haven't posted much lately.

I don't think I'm homesick, because I don't feel any great desire to be back in America, but I would like to go to some other places now. I think I'm just bad at staying anywhere for too long.

All I Want for Christmas is Hanukkah

Christmas in Korea is not nearly as crass and blaring as America. I went to a restaurant with my stepmom's relatives and ate a ton of food and that was that.

At some point recently I passed the halfway point (6 months) in my Korean life. I have less than 100 days of teaching left, but it's spread over 6 months. I'm pretty sure I won't be doing a second year in Korea. Not anytime soon, anyway.

My vacation just started. Woo.

Saw Dark Knight. It was pretty good and watchable, I guess. "Good action movie" - isn't that what the kids say. Kind of reminded me of Casino Royale the way it kept moving and upping the ante. Or like a "greatest hits" version of the best action scenes in the comic. But it also didn't really feel like the cool detective ninja in the Batman comics. Partly because of Christopher Nolan's clunky fight choreography (I complained about this my cutting-edge Batman Begins review). And also because this could have been James Bond in a costume (and kind of a lame costume in this film). None of the Batman movies seem to pick up that he's "the world's greatest detective." Christian Bale is a great Bruce Wayne, though. It's just when he puts on the Batman mask and starts speaking in a retarded growl . . . some things just shouldn't migrate from the printed page.

I think I have definite ideas about what Batman is because I grew up on the comics. Writers like Denny O'Neil, Chuck Dixon, Alan Grant, and Frank Miller got the Batman concept so right that almost everything else looks wrong. I could write a lot more but everybody else already did so what's the point.

For the next Batman movie they should get a new actor and director, set it forty years in the future, and do Dark Knight Returns. I'm not a big fan of that comic (the Frank Miller Batman I like is Batman: Year One) but it'd be a good way to keep the franchise fresh.

I listened to Malcolm Gladwell's Outliers. I kind of like Gladwell's idea about the 10,000 hour rule, but Gladwell himself kind of annoys me. I've read all his books, and I'd love to parody his prose style in fiction. And whenever I see an interview with him I want to punch him.



Tried listening to the new Antony and the Johnsons album, got bored.

It's hella cold out. And yet... I kind of get used to it when it's not windy. Suddenly anything over 40 seems nice and toasty.

Planning a big trip for late '09 - at least three continents, methinks.

I'll try to blog more now that I'm off.

Random Pictures Near My Work This Morning

I went walking around my work this morning and took a few pictures near the Korean comics museum and a dilapidated amusement park.



















I'm sure parents try to keep their kids from riding the "Nude Viking."

Homage to Catatonia

Christmas is my next vacation day, but then I have to work the day after Christmas. Can you believe it? I don't think I'll have classes, I just go in to the school for closing ceremonies (this is the end of the school year in Korea).

But then it gets good and I will remember why I picked a public school over a hagwon...
PAID VACATION TIME!!!!
(Keep in mind, I already had over 3 weeks paid vacation in the summer)

December 27 - January 11 = NO WORK!!!
January 12-16 & January 19-23 = Work a two-hour winter class each day.
January 24 - February 8 = NO WORK!
February 9 - 17 = Be at school for meetings but no real classes.
February 18 - March 1 = I may have to go in a day or two for meetings, but essentially no work.

And then regular classes start again in March. The current 7th graders (300 of them because the school just opened this year) become 8th graders and we get 300 more 7th graders, doubling the number of students. And then I'll teach them for a little over 3 months and then my contract's up, and then...

Well, we'll see. I'm approaching the halfway point in my 12-month contract.

I haven't blogged much lately because in addition to teaching I'm spending time doing freelance work via America (via the internet), graphic design related, that pays real cash money (American dollar$), and I will say no more other than I would love to be self-employed. I like teaching and I like doing "alone-work" too and think I would go crazy if I just did one or the other, but if I'm gonna do them I want to set my own hours and not have to be somewhere because a clock says so. Maybe this will help me get there.

One Might Indeed Ponder the Imponderables of Time and Space

Skeletal Lamping is an album that initially disappointed me. I went back to it recently and haven't stopped playing it and have to say I've completely reversed. In a year in which I've barely listened to any vocal albums (mainly I play classical), Skeletal Lamping fascinates me with its packed impressionistic blurbs that could easily expand into 10 albums. Not so much a concept album as hypercompression - it's either one long song or 50 little songs. Kevin Barnes tries to pull off a Ziggy Stardust with his "Georgie Fruit" character, but it never fully emerges as a separate identity and most of the time I think that's just a defense mechanism for all the diary-like thoughts composing the lyrics, words that move between the mythical and the mundane. And a lot of it's pretentious and sophomoric - the major themes are drugs and having sex with fans, but that's not too far off the last few albums (Hissing Fauna and The Sunlandic Twins are much more accessible, however). That being said, I embrace the lyrics as they are and thoroughly soak in the album's schizophrenic mood shifts. Of Montreal have come a long way since the folky rock of Cherry Peel, and they're one of my favorite bands.

*

Iron Man has sharp bantering, a fast story, and memorable characters. But it's still just a superhero story for kids, disposable. I doubt I'd ever be compelled to watch it again.

What I would rather see, as soon as we invent a time machine, is sending an Iron Man DVD (and DVD player) back in time to 1930s era Charlie Chaplin and having him remake Iron Man with 1930s technology. That would be far more interesting than Robert Downey Jr. as Iron Man (or Robert Downey Jr. as Charlie Chaplin).

*

I had to use Excel yesterday and I never use Excel. God, what a shitty counterintuitive ugly piece of software.

*

Sunday I went to Suwon where the Hwaseong fortress has a wall about 4 miles long that stretches around the city and I walked all of it. It's like an abridged version of the Great Wall of China. My camera batteries were dead but here's an internet photo.

But it wasn't snowing and was actually beautiful weather. People say Seoul-area has smog but it's not bad in fall and actually incredibly clear some days. It also hasn't really snowed yet. It started to snow one day but then melted and it's been okay since. But later this week that might change.

Game Tester for a Day

It's the Korean "SAT" today and tomorrow so my junior high kids get out early and most of the teachers go to high schools to proctor (what a limited verb).

Me? What do I do since I don't have afternoon classes?

Thank you for asking.

I'm preparing to use board games for English practice in the class. The games available to me are limited. My co-teacher acquired Scrabble, Monopoly Jr., and The Game of Life. I played them with two other teachers this afternoon. Here are my impressions that I urge you to memorize:

Scrabble - The edition we got is the British one or something. Only a little different from American. Mainly the board is a different color and the tiles are plastic, not wood. It also has instructions in English, Korean, Chinese and Thai. It's been at least a year since I played Scrabble and I think it's a bit overrated.

Monopoly Jr. - Monopoly Jr. is shorter and simpler than Monopoly and almost 100% luck. It goes by too fast to realize you don't care what happens.

The Game of Life - These are the lessons my students will get from "Life": life is about making and spending money and filling a car with a generic family. Life is complicated and unfriendly to non-English speakers. It also has the players ending "Life" by retiring. That's not how real life ends.

Brainstorm With Me

I have to do a one-day camp in two weeks. It's already been planned out, and I need to fill it in with ideas. There will be about 40 kids. So comment and help me with these:

1. Cooking - We will make some kind of English/American food. The thing is, we don't really have cooking equipment. Maybe we can bring in a toaster or blender. I figure we can make sandwiches, but what else...? Smoothies? Milk shakes?

2. Board Games - The kids are going to play board games that use English. Scrabble, Boggle, and Scattergories have all been confirmed. The games don't have to be so English-focused, but they should use some English (Monopoly would be okay. Hungry Hungry Hippos wouldn't.).

3. Pop Song Contest - We're gonna have some kind of karaoke (noraebang in Korea). Any good websites or software, please link.

4. Halloween Themed Party - Even though we'll be doing this on November 15, we're having a Halloween section. My idea is to have the kids bring their own costumes or we can do face painting at the school. What are some other Halloween activities or party games that are good? We'll probably do musical chairs, but I want more ideas. They don't have to be explicitly Halloween related or use English.

Those are the main things I need help on. Keep in mind these kids are like 14 years old. Any experiences or ideas please comment, thanks.

Sports Day

Great day at work – no classes. We had a sports day and it was hella fun. Kids ran races and played dodgeball and danced to K-pop. A boy gave me a balloon with my face drawn on it and my name below that. He said his dream job is to be an English teacher. He also critiqued the English of one of my co-teacher’s (I have two Korean co-teachers and one is usually present in class with me), and it’s true, he has less of an accent than her.

After school, went to dinner at a traditional Korean restaurant with about ten co-workers and I sat next to the vice principal. We started to drink Korean wine and somehow the two of us drank more than the others. I was fine, keeping it under control, and even though I drank more than the VP, he ended up pretty wasted. I think some of the others got a little uncomfortable. Some drank a little, but not as much as us, and the Christian women were probably squirming the most. I just wonder how much of it was my fault… did I encourage it? He didn’t make a total fool of himself - just a few sentimental speeches in Korean but I got the gist...

As we were all going our separate ways after dinner he stepped toward the women and I could see them take a step back... funny. I just hope he doesn’t think he embarrassed himself and blame me. I hope the others don’t blame me for revealing that side of him. But I think it will be okay.

The won totally gained value against the dollar today! If it stays down I'm wiring a few grand to my US account tomorrow and obliterating my student loan *KA-BLAM*!!!$%$!!%%

K-Money

The largest Korean bill is 10,000 won, which is only like $10 (actually only about 3 cents at the current exchange rate). So you gotta carry a wad when you want serious change on your person. The money is different sizes and colors, and I still confuse them because there's so many fucking zeros. Much like American money, Korean money features old dead guys.



This is not real money. It is SPECIMEN (see label). DO NOT REACH INTO COMPUTER SCREEN AND TAKE IT. DO NOT PRESS CONTROL-PLUS(+) TO MAKE IT LIFE-SIZE.

I love my Korean bank. Oh, did I say I love my Korean bank? I'm sorry, I meant I hate my Korean bank. Korean banks in general are incredibly inefficient and you usually have to take a number and wait 20 minutes to see a teller. Plus their hours are retarded, usually M-F 8:30-4:30. Hey, that sounds familiar...? Oh yeah, that's my work schedule, so I always have to go during work hours. I have time between classes and at lunch, but it'd be nice to have a few Saturday hours available.

Oh, but here's the real nifty part: to use the ATM, your own bank's ATM, you have to pay a fee on the weekend and after business hours! It's only a small fee, like 50 cents, but still - does using an ATM on the weekend costs the bank more? I don't think so.

The banks are also incredibly insecure. There's a guy who assists people when they come in and he has a gun. But the tellers aren't behind glass and I've seen stacks of cash just sitting behind the counter. I don't think Korea has a lot of armed robbery.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again: a lot of Korea is stuck in the 1950s and is just waiting for its Beat Generation and 1960s to revamp and revitalize it. The only things holding it back are the country's small size, large population, and desperate economy. People have to conform if they want to survive and get a job. I don't envy the youth of Korea. Plus, men have to serve two years in the army.

Most Koreans I know have studied or traveled abroad, and as they continue to do so they'll bring bits of the world back to Korea. Change is inevitable. An expanded international consciousness, less alcohol, a healthy marijuana culture, and meditation would greatly improve Korea. These things will also destroy a lot of traditional Korean culture, a lot of the stifling elements, and some of the softer aspects unfortunately.

As an English teacher, the thing I find most amusing is their attitude to English. The public schools don't begin English lessons till 3rd grade! Why wait so long? Do you want to learn English or don't you? If they really want to learn it, start as soon as possible. Instead they wait and the kids have an accent and struggle for years with English, cramming and going to hagwons. Why is it like this?

From what I understand, older Koreans are afraid English will destroy traditional Korean culture. And that's understandable. Nobody likes to have another culture come in and say, "Start talking like us because our language is more important than yours." But English is more important to Korea's economy, and every Korean college student knows this.

Okay, I'm just rattling on now.

Having lived here four months, I understand the idea of culture shock better now. Maybe it's not shock... maybe it's "culture irritation". There will always be things about Korean culture that make me angry and think WHY ARE YOU PEOPLE SO FUCKING STUPID? But I suppose foreigners feel the same way in America and elsewhere. And there are things about Korea that run smoother and easier. It's just a trade-off, I guess.

I had six classes today! Two of them I did solo (no co-teacher) and they were beginner classes. Maybe they're what annoy me about the English curriculum in Korea. The classes are too large with too many speaking levels in one class, and I know a lot of those beginners don't learn anything from me. There are few things as frustrating as teaching someone English when they don't speak any English and you don't speak any Korean. Plus you have 37 other students to deal with. Fortunately Korea is desperate for white English teachers, believing they magically speak and teach purer English, and always preferring them to Asian or (gasp) black teachers.

Anyway, I love Korean money. It'd be nice if it had more value than toilet paper. I have a ton of it, and I'd love to send it back to the US and pay off my loan etc. But I just can't bring myself to do it at the current exchange rate... it'd be throwing too much away. I wonder if it will ever rise again. The president says so (the Korean president), but he seems like an asshole to me, like a Korean Giuliani (eww, weird image), saying whatever the people want to hear. And Korean politics have so much crap about saving face and honor and respect and bleh, it almost makes American politics refreshing (almost).

Alright, it's been good to rant - I usually don't allow myself to do it long in the blog and it's nice to get it out. Most of the things I'm whining about aren't a big deal. The exchange rate is all I really want to improve. Everything else I can live with.