Tuesday, July 29, 2008

"The Dark Knight" Review - REAL THIS TIME! **SPOILERS**

Last night I dreamt I saw The Dark Knight. Here's my review.

For the latest version of Batman, the dark knight battles not one but three villains: the Joker, the Penguin, and the Riddler. Dialogue is minimal; in fact, I don't remember anyone talking in the whole film. Christian Bale was virtually unrecognizable. He looks so old now, and I don't know why they decided to give him a skinhead look.

The climactic scene came when Batman met the three villains in a swamp. Batman pressed a remote control, the Batmobile fired something at his antagonists, and they succumbed. There wasn't much conflict, and absolutely no hand-to-hand fighting. WEAK!

So honestly, I don't see what all the big hoo-ha is about. People talk about Heath Ledger's tragic final performance blah blah blah... but I don't even remember it!

I'm just glad the film didn't drag on like so many Hollywood epics these days. I don't think it could've been more than a few minutes, all told.

So I'll be the first one to say it: The Dark Knight: THUMBS DOWN!!!

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3 Comments:

Blogger John said...

Yeah, that's kinda how I felt. However, the scene with a digitalized (and naked) Stanley Kubrick singing "Auld Lang Syne" while running on an upside-down treadmill was a nice reference to "2010." I thought it was a particularly brave choice, too, on Christopher Nolan's behalf, to present Alfred as an African-American sex offender with a penchant for limericks and non sequiturs. However, it wasn't as good as the TV show "Dexter" and could have been better if not for the pointless lack of nudity. 2/5

2:47 PM  
Blogger Cutup said...

I don't know what you're talking about, Ulmer. You probably saw the Val Kilmer one.

1:26 AM  
Blogger Jeffrey said...

I thought Pierce Brosnan was good, but I didn't like Meryl Streep. And I hated all the singing.

3:38 AM  

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