Wednesday, April 09, 2008

African Adventure

Today's episode features an oft-requested short story from the Ninja-tek archive, "African Adventure". Composed in the 6th grade (1991).


Hello. My name is Joe Clydesdale. I am a millionaire who lives in Washington, D.C. I own many great museums in the country. One of the greatest is the Marine Museum in Chicago. I often go on trips around the world looking for newer attractions for my museums.

I flew in my privately owned 747 to Lake Victoria to catch a rare fish for my Marine Museum. The name of the fish is the Fireblue fish. There are only forty-six known worldwide.

As I flew over the country of Zaire, I soon realized that I would be landing in Jinja, Uganda, a city north of Lake Victoria in less than three hours. I decided to take a nap to pass the time.

I woke up at 3:32 P.M. and my captain told me that we would be landing in just a few minutes.

By 4:45 P.M., I was in a taxi heading for the coast of the lake. We were going down the road at eighty-five miles per hour when the driver suddenly put his foot on the brake and came to a sudden stop.

I was about to ask the driver why he came to a halt, but I looked ahead and found out for myself. Hundreds of people were dancing, marching, and singing in their native tongue. There was a festival blocking the whole street.

I decided that the lake was close enough to walk the rest of the way.

I got out of the cab, paid the driver, and got my luggage out of the trunk. I had two pieces of luggage and realized that it was about half a mile to the lake.

I was about to get started when a boy about the age of ten said to me in Swahili, "I will help you carry your luggage if you pay me a dollar."

I decided that my luggage was pretty heavy, so I said, "Sure!" I responded in his native language.

After he had helped me carry my luggage to the coast, I took out one dollar from my pocket and handed it to the kid. When he was about to take the money, he kicked my chin, grabbed the dollar, and ran away as fast as he could. He did it all in one motion.

I started to yell at him in English, but I realized that he wouldn't understand and he was already too far away to hear me anyway.

I never trusted another African from then on.

The kid had taken all of my clothes and two hundred dollars, but I still had nine hundred dollars left.

At least the kid had not taken my diving equipment. I knew that I could not replace that equipment here in Africa.

After I had set up camp and had a dinner consisting of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, I decided to go to bed early because it had been such a long day.

The next morning, I woke up at 6:12 A.M., to search for the Fireblue fish. I decided I was going to search for him so early because he glowed a bright red and blue color in the morning, and it would be easier to catch.

I went down into the lake at 6:30 A.M., with a diving suit, mask, air tanks, and a large net to catch the fish.

I was starting to get bored after about fifteen minutes with no sign of the Fireblue fish, when a big black cloud of gas got in my vision. Then I felt a fish bit me in the side. I hit it on the head three times, but I realized that it would not let go!

I decided to try to swim to the surface. I was about twenty-five feet from the surface of the water when the fish released another cloud of smoke. I had to do something quick!

I took the air hose out of my mouth while I held my breath and shoved the hose up his nose. He released his grip!

I netted him quickly, put the air hose back in my mouth and swam to the surface. I would have just let him go, but he had been such a nuisance and I had never seen this type of fish before.

After I had put the fish in an aquarium, I looked him up in my fish guide to see what type of fish he was. He was called the Smoke Fish because of his color and the smoke he discharges to capture and eat his prey. It also said that it was only found in the Sea of Japan and that there are only eighteen know worldwide!

This would be even better than the Fireblue fish. I decided to pack up and take this fish instead of the Fireblue fish.

After I got back home the fish made a fortune for me, and I lived happily ever after.


* What's with the OCD use of numbers?

* Every paragraph seems to start with "I".

* When the African boy kicks Joe Clydesdale in the "chin" I think I meant to say "shin".

* Jinja, Uganda is a real city.

* I made up both the Fireblue fish and the Smoke fish. They're not real.

* I don't see how the Smoke fish (only known to be found in the Sea of Japan) made it to Lake Victoria. Lake Victoria is a fresh water lake anyway.

* My favorite line is: "I never trusted another African from then on."

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

That's a pretty awesome story actually.

I noticed the obsessive use of numbers also. Maybe your teacher wanted you to use a lot of "details" in your writing and you went that way with it?

10:32 PM  
Blogger pete. said...

this is the best story i've ever read about those untrustable africans.
really it's sort of amazing.

3:49 PM  
Blogger Cutup said...

Thanks, guys. This is the best story I've ever read, period.

12:37 PM  

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